Cool Dating - You May Think it's Sexy, But it's Not

Jan 17, 2011
Mary Rayme

Dating advice: Be yourself! - © Louis Stokes for freedigitalphotos.net

Are you as cool as you can be? If you are dating and in the single scene you need to make sure you are not trying too hard to make the best impression.

Remember Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd doing the "Wild and Crazy Guys" skit on Saturday Night Live? They made us laugh because they were two wild and crazy guys who thought they were sexy studs, wearing their open-collared shirts and gold chains exposing lots and lots of chest hair, searching for the elusive American foxes. But the reality is that these guys were hilarious because they accomplished the exact opposite of their goals and never got a date.

So what can be done in the dating world to ensure that we come across as cool, sexy, and hot and not just dorky, dated, and trying too hard?

Dating Tips For Men

Jewelry: When it comes to jewelry, wearing less is more. Guys, please don’t wear a gold chain, a bracelet and lots of rings. You might think it’s sexy, but it’s not.
Cologne: Again, a little is sexy. Too much fragrance is a huge turnoff for anyone, especially someone who you want to get close to. If you wear cologne, please just put a tiny dab behind your ears and on your wrist.
Car: Women do not find your pick up truck sexy, so don’t even think about picking up your date in your monster truck complete with gun rack, and mud flaps with the naked woman silhouette.
Ordering: If you take your date to a restaurant, don’t order for her. This might have been gentlemanly several decades ago, now it just comes off as controlling and creepy.
Money: On your first date, don’t talk about how much money you make or your net value. You may think it’s sexy to tell your date how much you’re worth but it’s really just too much information.
Hair Product: You might think it’s sexy to slather gobs of goo on your hair, but really, it’s not. Women want to have the option of running their fingers through your hair and it can’t be done if your hair is starch stiff.
Clothing: You might think it’s sexy to wear tight jeans, but really most women are not interested in seeing an outline of your masculinity, especially on a first date.

Dating Tips For the Ladies (Keep in mind that many of the tips above can apply to women as well.)

Jewelry: Don’t wear so much jewelry that you constantly have to adjust, check or rearrange your ensemble.
Perfume: Don’t wear so much perfume that your date is attempting to only exhale in your presence. You want to create a lasting impression but it shouldn’t be a cloud of fragrance.
Hair Product: See the tip for guys above. You might think it’s sexy to tease your hair into an Amy Winehouse beehive hairdo with plenty of hairspray, but it’s really not.
Makeup: You might think it’s sexy to wear a lot of makeup, but if you over do it you can just end up looking cheap and artificial. Make sure your makeup is up to date and not applied with a spatula.

So there you have it. There are ways to make yourself attractive and there are ways to really turn people off. Remember that subtle and natural will almost always turn heads. Most importantly when dating is be yourself so that you attract someone who is attracted to who you are not you you present yourself to be.

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